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Abby Elliott Likes Cheese Fries and Not Being PregnanAbby Elliott Likes Cheese Fries and Not Being Pregnant

There are few TV jobs quite as crappy as being a first-year cast member on Saturday Night Live. They’re called “Featured Players” but they’re featured mostly in the show’s closing credits, where they get to stand on stage and wave at the studio audience. They rarely get any screen time, and when they do it tends to be bit parts—a waitress or a bartender or a shocked bystander with no dialogue. Basically, the throwaway roles that nobody in the real cast could be bothered with. When they do get to strut their comedy wares, it can be disconcerting. They’re like the guy nobody knows at a party who gets too tipsy and becomes the loudest person in the room. Even if they’re genuinely funny, it’s difficult not to be a little annoyed by them. “And just who the fuck are you?”

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Child Star Brian Bonsall Sentenced For Assault

Brian Bonsall, former child actor from the show Family Ties, has been sentenced to two years probation after pleading guilty to charges of felony menacing and third-degree assault. He attacked friend Michael Trujillo last year, reportedly hitting Trujillo with a stool, but does not remember the incident.

“Bonsall then said that he and Trujillo both are bipolar and like drugs,” says Popeater according to a report taken at the time. “Bonsall said that he takes a lot of drugs and sometimes those drugs make him forget things.”

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Rihanna Admits Matt Kemp is her boyfriendIt's official: Rihanna and Los Angeles Dodger Matt Kemp are an item.

"Umm, he's my boyfriend," the pop singer told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS FM show, following several months of speculation about a romantic connection.

But don't look for an engagement announcement anytime soon. "It's new, and it's fun, and it's nothing too serious, you know," Rihanna, 22, said of their relationship. "I don't want anything that's going to take up so much of my energy and time right now in a bad way. I just want to have fun, and that's what it's about."

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Michael Jackson -- Strong Stimulant FoundThere may be a clear explanation as to why Michael Jackson had trouble sleeping the night before he died -- authorities found a pill bottle in the room containing tablets that would have hyped the singer up big time.

The bottle, which had no label, contained 13 tablets. Each tablet had a combination of ephedrine, caffeine and aspirin. The commercial sale of ephedrine -- a stimulant designed for weight loss -- is banned in the U.S. because of reports of heart attacks, strokes and even death.

Each pill contained 25 mg of ephedrine, 200 mg of caffeine and 80 mg of aspirin. The caffeine alone in each pill is equivalent nearly a 6-pack of coca cola.

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Gary Coleman Secrety Weds Shannon PriceDifferent Strokes mini-star Gary Coleman secretly wed Shannon Price nearly eight months ago in Nevada. Price wanted to keep the nuptials secret to protect her privacy.

“Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us,” Coleman, 40, said on Tuesday’s broadcast of the program.

Coleman met Price on the set of the 2006 comedy “Church Ball.” Price said it was she who proposed to Coleman, but that he surprised her on her birthday by whisking her to a mountaintop in the Valley of Fire State Park to exchange vows.

She said they kept their wedding secret because she wanted to keep being seen as her own person.

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Pink’s Marriage Is OverLong plagued by rumors of Carey Hart’s infidelity, it seems that singer Pink’s marriage is officially over. People Magazine says

The marriage of pop singer Pink and her husband of two years, motocross racer and former The Surreal Life star Carey Hart, has ended. “Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another. While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger.”

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